literally had 100 drinks last night.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
