Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
