Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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