Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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