who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
