ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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