Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
