It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
