i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
