he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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