i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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