so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
