i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize
