Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
