she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
