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i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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