I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
