and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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