i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
