its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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