I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
