I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
