i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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