You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm both gender and math confused
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize