Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
