she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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