your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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