jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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