Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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