Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
