Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize