Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
