its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
