Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
