don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We had to coat check the pizza.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
