We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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