So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
