I'm so fucking centered right now
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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