I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
