the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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