After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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