I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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