my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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