It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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