Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
