We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she smelled like a LAN party
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
