let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Someone shattered a urinal.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
