I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize