Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
