I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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