3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
