did you get engaged???
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
