yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
