everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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