I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
