Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
