So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
and she was petting her beer can
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Come on in and take your pants off
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