I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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