We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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